¬_¬

when moving you encounter a lot of things you didn't realize you had.

for example, the 87 condoms I've somehow acquired.

that is an obscene amount of condoms.

i have extra strong.

i have ultra-lubricated.

i have magnums.

i have studded.

i have ribbed.

i have more than likely any kind of condom anyone would ever need or desire.

the time and money i spend acquiring protection is infinitesimal. i don't actually think i've ever spent money on condoms.

so the next time i hear 'well we didn't have protection'

i am going to slap the person who says it in the face.

with a condom.