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I was going through one of the rituals I dread most as a postpubescent male: shaving. Having completed this once-a-week activity, I looked in the mirror and decided to do indulge in an activity i hadn't done in quite some time, that being put on a bunch of makeup for the hell of it. Being that it was purely for my own amusement, I went for the full-on glam rock drag queen makeup I hadn't done in... almost a year, actually. Having selected my palette, I went about the event with gusto, almost doing it by instinct.

I finished, and looked in the mirror to survey the result.

I looked fucking ridiculous.

I was suddenly stricken with a mild panic: have I forgotten how to do makeup? Has it been so long since I've put on the colours, as it were, that I've just lost the skill? This leads to deeper questions; am I no longer the androgynous gender blender that I for years prided myself on being? What has that part of me been replaced with? Black is white! Up is down! My world is topsy-turvy!

It's kind of like being fourteen all over again. Puzzling.