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He was dressed up in zebra patterned pants and a leather vest. He played a guitar solo with lazer beam eyes and sang out YOUR LOVE IS A BUZZ SAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! We cleaved in an abandoned building on F and 13th. His feathered hair was magnificent as he straddled me and began his magic song of lust and connection, which sounded something like 'I WANT TO BANG YOU LIKE A GUN BANGS BAAAAAABAAAY!!!!!!!'

And for a moment there, I believed him.