¬_¬

I heart hipsters. I heart hipsters because the cool new thing to do is hate hipsters, and it's been proven time and time again that if you hate a subculture, however vapid it might be, it will get more and more marginalized and may even radicalize. Quite frankly, the last thing we need is people with awkward hair and a blazer fixation storming the streets with kalashnikovs. I actually have a few blazers in emergency stock, just in case packs of wild hipsters start roaming the streets, attacking people with less ironicool style than them. Honestly, it's not that far-fetched an idea; I can see it now:

"WHAT WAS THE BEST BEATLES ALBUM? WHAT WAS THE BEST BEATLES ALBUM?!"
"I... uh... Meet The Beatles?!"
"NO! REVOLVER! SPEAKING OF:"
[pulls out a revolver and empties it into your face. his fellow hipsters don't know what he's more proud of, his termination of someone not as elitist as them, or the fact that he just essentially killed someone with an album reference. That's wild, man.]

Or:

"Tonight on Jeopardy, the categories are: Alt-country, The Album Leaf, Why Journey Sucks, Why Journey is Awesome, Prince, Music That Sucks and Pavement B-Sides. I'm Alex Trebek and I have a gun to my head."

or simply:

"HE'S TRYING TO PASS THAT OFF AS VIIIIIINNNNTAAAAAAGGGGGEEEE!" BRAKABRAKABRAKABRAKABRAKA

So just remember. Don't hate your hipsters. Right now they're mildly elitist but essentially harmless. But one day they might cap yo' ass.